Pieces of Us.

Today I saw a different side of him. It was so sweet and I didn’t want this part of him to go back into hiding. He is a little rough around the edges but somehow the softest behind closed doors. He found out I said he has innocent blue eyes and I suddenly wanted to run and hide. I am crushing so hard. Remember in school when we were younger some girls wrote their crushes name in their journal and drawn hearts around the names…..that is how I feel and I hate it. It’s been so long since I have felt this way. The last person I felt like this for was a kid in junior high, all I wanted was to hold his hand. I was too shy to even speak around him and my cheeks became flushed and warm.

I dreamt of the east coast and wondered if I would make it there. My dad grew up there. My crush said “no one wants to come to Jersey” and made me think of my dad who says the same thing and doesn’t wanna go back to visit. I have always wanted to go to the east coast, I never thought I would be in this place where I am dying to be closer to someone. Me and her have California and I guess me and you can have Jersey….or some random bookstore you take me to on a rainy day. You have promised me Boba and to read my favorite book. If you read YOU by Caroline Kepnes, maybe we are meant to be…don’t panic. I only say this because it takes place on in the east coast, New York to be exact. We connected on books and I wanna get lost in the fiction section. Hand me a crime book and I’ll pass you a depressing poetry book by Faudet.

You were sad today, it broke my heart. You asked me to keep you safe and I promised you always. This is all still so new and a little complicated. For some reason I wouldn’t want it any other way. I hope you are here a little longer…. It doesn’t seem so gloomy now that you are around and I feel butterflies again. As much as I say I hate you, I hope you know this is far from the truth. You may be asleep as I’m writing this. I hope you are sleeping well.

Can you wake up already? I miss you.

Nicole Smith

7:11pm

08/24/2021

currently listening : Schld- Pieces